London's Burning

Boris is on TV talking about people destroying communities and wrecking livelihoods. I assume he’s talking about Bankers, as he’s stood outside an HSBC, webbed with broken windows. I also assume that’s his handywork, and he’s about to lead the country into revolution. Looks like he’s got quite nice a tan.  It must be sunnier in Hackney than I thought.

Elsewhere, London has turned into Escape from New York.  I lived through the Moss Side Riots of 1981, which is to say, they happened about a mile from where I lived, I was alive when they started and, as you can tell, was still alive when they finished.  That was a proper riot.  Princess Road looked like a Picasso sculpture by the time it was over.  I went to Clapham Junction last night, (once I’d been told it was safe to do so. I like thrills, but I don't confuse stupidity with bravery) and it seemed to be more of an overly-aggressive shopping trip cross-bred with the end of Glastonbury.

 I’m sure there’s a passionate political message somewhere, but the first reading is mostly I Want Stuff So I Will take Stuff. If anything, it’s a vindication of the power of the consumerist capitalist world which one might reasonably assume the riots were a reaction to. So, through the looting, the kids are validating the desirability of materialistic culture, and are condemning themselves by perpetuating its grip on society.I suspect they haven't thought this through.

 It’s also massive free advertising to Curry’s, JD Sports and, amongst certain Facebook Friends, Gregg’s pasties.  I’m particularly fond of the Vegetable Pasty. Most others seem to go for something called a ‘Steak Bake’. It takes all sorts to make a world.

CallMeDave has finally come home from his 9K-a-week holiday villa to lecture us all about poverty and how it’s no excuse for the uproar. The Tories seem to be trying to out-Tory each other on this issue, which is as depressingly predictable as a dropped pint when trying to carry three beers and a packet of Cheese and Onion though a crowded bar.

Theresea ‘Mrs Dracula’ May refused to acknowledge that the riots were provoked by anything other than evil, and may have even suggested that Satan himself had taken corporeal form, donned a  hoody, and tried to bring about the End of Days. This is something I believe St John predicted in the little-know book from the Apophryca, The Adidas Testament, although I may have misheard during that particular RE lesson..  The Daily Mail is shouting about the Army, and the Mail message boards are shouting about immigration, and the BNP is shouting, but is so excited can’t actually form any full sentences.  Instead they are reduced to pointing and screaming ’Them! Them!Them!’ with pulsating red veins bursting violently along newly shined skinheads.

For me, it’s a genuine melange of fear, excitement, pity, anger and worry. Probably a few other emotions too.  And I think this is a reasonable state to be in. Because I don’t think there is simple split of Poor Disenfranchised Youth/Evil Thugs.  The kids have got genuine grievances – the EMA has been cut, there are very few jobs, the rich are getting richer and the poor are getting fucked. We’re not all in this together, not by a long shot. And if you know you face years on the dole with limited options, you’re going to want to do that with a big TV and some comfy shoes, surely?